What is a lady today? Media backlash at William & Kate

So by now, many of us saw the beautiful photographs of the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge with their little ones on their ski holiday. And aren’t they just adorable? When I found the images on Facebook Monday morning, I thought how adorable and what a nice treat for them to provide to the public. However, by the time I’m writing this, I cannot believe some of the horrible things I’ve heard in the media about them.

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In all honesty, I think the images are wonderful, just well shot and such a nice glimpse into their personal and private lives. We each take photographs of ourselves and our loved ones while we’re out and about having fun and no doubt we (well, most of us) publish a good chunk of images once home to our social media outlets to let friends and supporters see what we’re up to. I know Brent and I have not just on our personal sites, but also on our joint business venture. I would never dare to guess someone would suggest we were work shy because we opted to spend some fun, quality time together on our terms and then release an image after the fact.

Thank God there are still some people out there with what appears to be common sense. As someone who works with children in various occupations and someone who also is a young wife starting out and looking to start my family this year, I know I would be very protective of my children’s images made public. Many of my friends agree and often releases are required for a child’s image to be used on any internet or magazine site. Prince George and Princess Charlotte didn’t choose to be in the public limelight. That happened as a result of the parents to whom they were born. Catherine didn’t choose the limelight just because she chose it and should need to forfeit her privacy. She fell in love with a man beyond what his title was and for who he was as an individual, outside the limelight. William remains very guarded and protective of his privacy and after how his mother died, I sincerely do not blame him. So, of course, they are choosing to be cautious with what images of themselves and their children find their way online, while also walking the fine, thin line with the public images requested.

Who are we to sit and say someone isn’t working enough? From what I’ve heard, William works his shifts made to accommodate him as a royal with appearances. I also have heard that the royal duties are scaled back to allow William & Kate to be close at hand for their children who are so young, being more hands on as parents. That’s something we remember Diana sought for him and always tried to provide him too. And do we really know what goes on behind the scenes? William may choose to work part-time as he doesn’t need a full-time job. Maybe everyone already knew that when he started working with them. And with all the preparation for Kate’s editorial role at the Huffington Post, I’m sure she put in many hours of work on top of the endless hours of primping necessary to look picture perfect to represent the people of the United Kingdom at various social events. Not to mention countless hours of learning customs, traditions, and potentially language too for the upcoming Indian tour where they will not have their children present with them over the course of a few weeks. Of course, they want to spend time one on one with their children having fun and bonding in a quality way prior to spending time apart. Their annual trip to Mustique with Kate’s family was out too evidently as they were absent. So, leaving late Wednesday and returning on a Sunday doesn’t sound so extreme to me. And who wouldn’t want a break from the barrage of cameras and scrutiny just for a private trip paid by their own dollars to have a chance at a normal moment for their children and each other? I sure would.

From experience too I can say I don’t appreciate how quick everyone is to post images at events, even for just us commoners or private “Duchess” types. Once I was taken to the ER because someone insisted I go and see if I hurt myself again. While waiting in the exam room a photograph was snapped on a cell phone and up on Facebook within seconds, much to my dismay. For me, it was a private moment and something I didn’t think should be shared with the world. Plus, in my role at the time, many people saw the post and hounded me the next day with messages and calls. I was so tired of fending questions and explaining things. Not to mention I felt my privacy itself was violated as I wasn’t asked and had no say in the matter. Having one selected photographer riding along, ready to provide long begged for images of the royal family doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Lucky for me, I have a photographer in my husband.

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But what really makes me question where refinement in all this vanished to was the remarks of disappointment in Kate for being a housewife and not a full-time working woman. Isn’t equality for women more about us ladies having the option to choose our destiny? Shouldn’t we each be allowed to choose for ourselves what we prefer? Cramming our own expectations of a full-time working woman down another woman’s throat sounds pretty similar to anti-suffragists saying it’s wrong for a woman to work. If Kate opted to be a stay at home woman taking care of her children, that is her prerogative. It’s obviously a decision her and her husband made together. I think she’s displaying how elegance and class can go both ways. She does make appearances for causes she highly values and she does work. Being a mother and staying home supporting a husband are very important and 24 hour jobs in themselves. She wants her children to have the benefit of being close to their parents. I don’t blame her. And in her role she can provide that opportunity because her husband is expected more outside the home as the future king.

Right now in my life I am a full-time working woman. My husband on the other hand, he works from home, starting up his photography business. We agree that children need a parent at home and having one spouse who can take care of the home life while the other is out working is more beneficial. Then, we can spend more time together when I’m off work myself, instead of being swept up in chores. This leads us to a stronger bond and connection and also relying on one another. When children enter our lives, we do want me to spend as much time with them as possible. Yet, we’ve opted for me to continue my job with the hope I can one day join him with keeping the business a joint venture. Plus, child care costs basically consume one spouse’s paycheck if they work too, and it’s less time with their family when a child goes to child care. So, really, to us, we wonder why? For us, it works. Now, if my husband’s photography  business were to take off and he was making good money, we would reevaluate and see if maybe I don’t have to work so hard and can stay home more too. Does that mean we’re work shy? No, it means we’re doing what we’ve discussed and worked out together as a couple.

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I’m still a lady with class who has a great man who gives me the feminine equality of letting me choose my life.

 

So, women of the world, let’s show  some class and dignity and be supporters of one another and our individual right to choose our path in life! No more throwing stones because someone chooses to be at home more as a homemaker vs. a full-time working woman. Because that was never the point of the feminist movement. The point was to be a lady always, but to possess the right to choose our own destiny, to choose if we wanted to work or if we wanted to be a homemaker.

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